1. Hitch hiking- there is no easy way to put this, so I will make it easy for all of you gentleman out there that may be considering hitch hiking at some point. Find a cute girl and have her stand in front of you. Under no circumstance is it going to be easy to get picked up when you have 3 smelly hairy guys that look like they could be related to Sasquatch. If you wanna get into town quick do yourself a favor and find a nice girl who can put up with your grotesque musk long enough to get you a ride... Bonus points if she is is traveling with a dog..
2. Bodily functions - if it's questionable, never trust a fart.... Ever
3. Seasonal gear change - If you have the available resources, plan ahead and as soon as the weather gets warm, exchange your cold weather sleeping bag for a lighter one. I just use my cold weather bag as a quilt of sorts, but be aware that some nights it is gonna be exceptionally warm.
4. Hammocks - yes you look comfortable. Yes you probably are. We are tired of hearing about how ultralight you are because of your stupid hammock...
5. Customer service - this space was originally reserved for some choice words to a specific and rather large outdoor company who refused to help me with an item of mine that is currently falling apart. So rather than making this specific, I am just gonna sum up my rant with a simple and understandable justification from the standpoint of a hiker. If I am using your equipment in the environment that you advertise it for, then you should take some responsibility for it's premature failure. As a thru hiker, I obviously cannot send said back to you for 2 weeks and then wait for you decide whether or not I have a reasonable claim. Said item is far too critical to my hike to wait for you to decide. Many other companies will accept pictures of items that have failed(with description) and if a thru hiker has a reasonable claim, will Mail replacement items to a destination of a hikers choosing. I will be purchasing my gear from one of these companies in future. If you have any questions about which companies these are, email me. I will be glad to spill the beans.
6. Underwear - completely unnecessary at this stage of the trip. Always sweaty and never dry, they make for conditions where rash becomes too common. Shorts with liners work well because of the quick dry material. Rinse off in every stream you can. Dry sweat makes for bad rash conditions after 1 - 3 days depending on humidity and temperature ...
7. Sense of smell - hikers smell bad...Smells that we somehow cultivate on our bodies, are down right offensive at times. It is hard to face the public when you know you smell like a gym bag. Hikers can't smell themselves though. We usually can't smell each other or ourselves, we can however smell all kinds of other stuff with hypersensitive detail. Flowers, pungent food, perfume, fresh clothes. It is an almost superhuman talent. I don't know how to explain it, but I can smell fast food before we are in the parking lot. I can smell perfume 30 feet away at times.. The sensory smell of perfume I understand because it is probably the most pleasant stimulation to the nose I have had in months, but fast food?
I got a few more but I a gonna divide them up into a separate post.
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